Death jokes
What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
I remember my son's last words: "I stubbed my toe!"
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.
Why did the baby cross the road? Because he wanted to die.
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
Shia Mehdi unlived by beard guy looooool 🤨
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Diana can't stop either.
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream?
Because he was dead.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because his ethernet cable disconnected.
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?
It took all his info!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his carer lost his charger.
Stephen Hawking drove too far away from the wall and unplugged himself.