Death Jokes

An old man walks in a forest with a child, and the child says, "It's dark, and I'm scared." The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out alone."

What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?

A nun with a javelin through her neck.

Best way of abortion?

Beyblade abortion.

LET IT R.I.P.

I have a riddle for you:

10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.

Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”

Once he eats it, he starts crying.

Why?

How can one make Death Row a little more fun?

Musical electric chairs.

Bro told me this when he passed away.

I’m “Fading.”

My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.

The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.

Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?

They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.

Why do orphans not have parents?

Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.

Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!

A bullet is like an arrow.

Nothing can stop it from going through your head.

I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.

"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.

Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

I laughed at their chalk outline.

My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."