When I die, I want my body to be cremated.
And fucked! Fucked really hard, papΓ!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
Death Jokes
"FUCK FUCK FUCK MY CLOTHES CAUGHT THE FLAME OH MY GOD IT BURNS SO MUCH!"
Why did the orphan like milk?
Because their parents went to get milk and never came back!
I told my grampa hello, and I said, "Hope you die!" hahahhhhahahahahahhahahahhahaha
Robin Williams' death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed!)
I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
Because he wasnβt wearing his seat belt.
I had the worst day of my life. My 13 year old ex got killed and I got fired from my job as a police guard. Did I mention that we were in Syria?
Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...
I think Jesus is broken.
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
1) What was Techno's reaction when he died?
2) Where did all the orphans go?
PS: In case you don't get it, it's a pedophile joke, cuz he is one!
What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?
A miscarriage.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
Hey, that tree's growing!
You're so skinny, death mistook you for dead.
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
Doctor: βYouβll be at peace soon.β
Man: βAm I dying?β
Doctor: βNo, your wife is.β
My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.
I asked an orphan where his parents were. Then I remembered, they're gone.
An emo kid in a leaf falls from a tree. Who falls first? Delete the rope, stop the emo.
