Death jokes

How did Steven Hawking die?

He lost internet connection.

He is dead.

“Wills”

Are they a dead giveaway!

If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?

What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?

A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.

Why did the cat cross the road?

To die.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.

If Stephen Hawking was an Xbox... he just red ringed and rose up to GameStop.

Why was Hitler born? Because he got killed.

@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.

Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?

It had nine shots and seven chasers!

George Floyd: 3 years sober, drug and alcohol free.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

Q. What's an aborted baby's favourite type of humor? A. ...

My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"

Don't commit suicide, that stuff kills you.

What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.

Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?

A. She didn't know how to swallow.