Death jokes
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
"Where ya going?"
"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the WiFi router.
What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?
A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.
“Wills”
Are they a dead giveaway!
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
Don't commit suicide, that stuff kills you.
What's George Floyd's favorite color? Kneeon.
What is George Floyd's favorite shade of color? Kneeon.
How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.
George Floyd: 3 years sober, drug and alcohol free.
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”
I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”
I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”
👌neck
Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
Kill yourself, hoes!