Death jokes
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.
(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To die on the other side.
Last week I found out my toaster is waterproof.
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got shot. Dumb bitch!
Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore?
He didn't have the heart to put into it.
My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.
I ate all of your mommy's orphans.
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.
My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."
I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."
An old man saw the TikTok trend of people throwing it back. The old man wanted to do it with his wife. The man set up everything needed and did the video. He threw it back first, then his wife, but instead of an old lady, it was ashes.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never grow old.
Today; worst day ever.
My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.
What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
A man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up.
The executioners asked, "How'd you do that?"
He said, "I had magic chips. Here, take some."
They eat them, jump off, and die.
He asks for more chips, and the guy says, "You're a real a**hole when you're drunk, Superman!"
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
Orphan: I fucked your mom.
Kid: At least mine survived from it.
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.