Death jokes
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!
What's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a car in my garage.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trashcans.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don't even care!
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
Where did Stephen Hawking go after he died?
FNAF Sister Location.
Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies.
Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive.
Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out.
Wanna hear something that's the worst? He comes back for seconds.
Who was most surprised by Jeffrey Epstein's suicide?
Jeffrey Epstein.
Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.
Cremation,
The last chance for a smoking hot body.
"Kobe is known for fade aways too bad he faded away."
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.
How to know if your wife is dead? Well, the sex is still trash, but the dishes really start to pile up.