Death jokes
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?
They never get old.
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
Name something an orphan can't do?
Go cry to their mommy.
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
Why did the orphan kill itself?
Because he's depressed about no family.
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
... It was a bittersweet victory.
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.
Maybe we should stop talking about orphans, their parents will get ma... oh wait.