Death jokes
Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.
How do you make a plumber cry?
You kill his family.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈
What do school shooting jokes and school shooting victims have in common? They never get old.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.
Why did the orphan kill himself?
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?
To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.