Death jokes
Technoblade NPC: Gets removed from Minecraft!
Technoblade: Gets removed from real life!
What's black and white, black and white, black and white...?
A dead nun rolling down a hill.
Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?
So they can always see their parents.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They don't know who daddy is.
What happened when the depressed kid went to give it a high five?
It left him hanging.
Fatty and Skinny sitting in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
Stephen Hawking died.
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
Why did the orphan run into the street? To get to the other side of life.
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
Dark humor is like kids with cancer; they never get old.
How do you make a plumber cry?
Kill his whole family.
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?
His head and shoulders.