Death jokes
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
Dark humor is like kids with cancer; they never get old.
How do you make a plumber cry?
Kill his whole family.
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
How do you make a plumber die?
You kill his family.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
Why can't Michael Jackson come within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead. 😁
He is helping world hunger by feeding cancer.
Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
Why is Technoblade allowed to make jokes about orphans?
'Cause he's dead like their parents!
I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.
His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."
Who is the fastest reader? The 9/11 victims, because they went through 20 stories.
What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?
I did nazi that coming!
When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?