Death jokes
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?
His head and shoulders.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
Why can't Michael Jackson come within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead. 😁
He is helping world hunger by feeding cancer.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?
"Windows Shut Down."
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
Why is Technoblade allowed to make jokes about orphans?
'Cause he's dead like their parents!
Who is the fastest reader? The 9/11 victims, because they went through 20 stories.
What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?
I did nazi that coming!
I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.
His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."
When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.