Death jokes
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go more than 500 feet into a school?
Because he’s dead.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don't even care!
Whoever said that about me better pray!
Memes
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
What did one skeleton say to another?
...nothing... they are dead... what did you expect?
Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.
What is hard to find but easy to make?
An orphan.
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.
Which do you choose?
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.
I love jumping off cliffs.