Death jokes
George Floyd is the fresh prince of no air.
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
Did yall know this?
What do skeletons do with their organs?
They organize them!
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
You're so ugly that I choked and died.
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
Imagine. Kobe could not.