Death jokes
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
How did the man with no arms commit suicide?
We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
I would tell a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded?
Everywhere.
experiment
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
Where do you go when food dies?
A fooderal.
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.
Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"
Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."
You learn from the best.
How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
Kms.
What's Yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of dead babies.
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
Kobe's favorite song was "It's going down for real."