Death jokes
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
You call it death. I call it peace and quiet.
I've been looking for my parents for years. For the life of me, I can't remember where I buried them.
Memes
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
When does an emo get jealous at a phone?
When it dies.
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
I love jumping off cliffs.