Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Death Jokes
Looks like McSkillet McKilledIt.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?
Because he's dead.
I don't want to die.
THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
The earth used to be flat until your mama was buried.
Long live the quee—Oh wait...
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
