Death jokes
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
My favorite sex position is the JFK:
I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.
The George Floyd situation was breathtaking.
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
What do you call a dead fly? -- A flew.
Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
Everyone at the Queen's funeral:
Me and the boys getting her reboot card.
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
It's a grave mistake to talk badly about the death.
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?
He pasta-way...
Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?
They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.
I wish I was dead like my jokes.
Why did Aaron slit his wrists?
Because it's him.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."