Death jokes
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flat-mate.
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
I'm dead serious about Kobe: Kobe in heaven...
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
WJE iceberg
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
Kobe was a bloody legend. Now he's just bloody.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.
The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
If you killed an orphan's family... oh wait!
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?
The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
Looks like McSkillet McKilledIt.