Death jokes
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?
He pasta-way...
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
Memes
Did yall know this?
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
I'm dead serious about Kobe: Kobe in heaven...
#RIPBOZO
Why can’t Michael Jackson go more than 500 feet into a school?
Because he’s dead.
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don't even care!
John F. Kennedy may rest in pieces.
My dog died today. 😥
Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"