What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
Death Jokes
What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?
I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
Well, my dad couldn't beat cancer.
Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
I added Paul Walker on Xbox...
But he spends all his time on the dashboard.
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.
As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...
"It was just a prank bro."
What song does Kobe Bryant hate?
"Rocky Mountain High."
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
