Death jokes

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!

Prince, don't die! Just don't! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasse!

-->[]life death[]<--

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

Bf: Babe, do you love me?

Gf: Of course, why do you ask?

Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.

What did one ghost say to the other?

"Get a life!"

My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

I am a dead baby. -end joke-

Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.

How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?

Enough to kill two and a half men.

What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?

A dead person does not walkie or talkie.

What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?

I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.

What's the difference between me and cancer?

Well, my dad couldn't beat cancer.

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

I added Paul Walker on Xbox...

But he spends all his time on the dashboard.

The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)

Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.

Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.

Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?

Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”