Death jokes

You know Sally? She's dead now.

A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.

Why is Hitler a better person than Jeffrey Epstein?

At least Hitler killed himself.

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.

I went to visit my friend's sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him, he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn."

Suddenly, right in front of me, he passed. Later that night, I translated his last words, and they were, "You're standing on my oxygen tube."

There once was a commie called Ed. Usually known as Ned. He went to bed, Got shot in the head, Unfortunately now he was dead.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.

Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to skull.

Iron Man dies.

I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.

But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.

Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.

POV: You're an orphan.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not your mom.

Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?

I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.

I was digging in my garden when I found a treasure chest full of gold. I was about to run inside and tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.

You are so ugly my man died.

Did you hear about the pervert who couldn't decide whether he was into incest or necrophilia?

He killed his mom and then fucked her.

Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?

He pasta-way...

It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"

How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, she was electrocuted.