Death jokes
Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
Yo mama so fat, when they buried her, they named her Everest. Mount Everest.
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.
What do emos do?
Hang.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
Friend 1: Did you?
Depressed friend 2: I didn't!
Friend one: Swear on your life!
Depressed friend 2: I swear.
A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.
When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.
My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.
What's the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.