Death jokes
Where do suicide bombers go after death?
Everywhere.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you?
A pool table.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
I want to die.
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?
If an emo and a leaf are in a tree, which one will fall first?
Answer: The leaf. The rope saved the emo.
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
What was the last hat Princess Diana wore?
A bonnet.
What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...
Let the bodies hit the floor.
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.