Death jokes
When did Michael say, "This is it"?
2009.
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.
“Life is going swimmingly,”
“Tell that to Whitney Houston.”
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
Long live the quee—Oh wait...
Memes
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.
I put the fun in funeral.
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?
Because he's dead.
Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.
I don't want to die.
Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.