Death jokes
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
-->[]life death[]<--
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.
Stephen Hawking died because he got hit by a RAM.
Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
What's the difference between my phone and my sister?
I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...
“Are you still holding the ladder??”
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
When I die, I want my body to be cremated.
And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
A man complains to a slave dealer: "The slave you sold me died!"
"By the gods," replies the dealer, "he never did that when I owned him!"
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.