My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
Death Jokes
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.
I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
My friend died from Ligma!
Ligma balls.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
Guys, stop making funny jokes of orphans. What, their parents are gonna get mad? Oh wait, continue.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?
A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.
