Death jokes
Kobe missed a lot of shots, but he sure didn’t miss the mountain.
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
My favorite bath bomb is a toaster.
Cut.
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.
Why did the chicken kill himself?
To get to the other side.
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.
What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?
Kentucky Fried Children!
What's it called when you eat those same babies?
Finger Lickin' Good!
Joker: Knock knock...
Batman: Who's there?
Joker: Not your parents!
Why did the skeleton not listen to the rules?
He was "bone tiba wild."
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
Where did Stephen Hawking go after he died?
FNAF Sister Location.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
Do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?
The Parkland kids.
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?
... A boner.