Death jokes
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
I have a body count of 7.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.
Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."
Random post #3
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!
My favorite bath bomb is a toaster.
What is my most popular side of myself?
Suicide.
I'll always remember my dad's last words... "Why do you have an axe? We live in the city!"
How did Princess Diana cross the road?
Through the windshield!
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
I just killed a family of five.
Now I’m an orphan.
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
What's worse than 1 tree with 10,000 dead babies on it?
1 baby on 10,000 trees.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.