Death jokes
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
Why was there a box in a church? Because there was a funeral.
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
rip my bird he died :(
My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:
When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
Why did the skeleton not listen to the rules?
He was "bone tiba wild."
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?
Kentucky Fried Children!
What's it called when you eat those same babies?
Finger Lickin' Good!
Where did Stephen Hawking go after he died?
FNAF Sister Location.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
My favorite bath bomb is a toaster.
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon.