Death jokes
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
Why was there a box in a church? Because there was a funeral.
My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:
When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon.
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...
Are they just given a quick crash course?
Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.
I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.
Toaster + Bath = The ultimate bath bomb!
Where did Stephen Hawking go after he died?
FNAF Sister Location.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
My favorite bath bomb is a toaster.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
Kobe missed a lot of shots, but he sure didn’t miss the mountain.
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?
Kentucky Fried Children!
What's it called when you eat those same babies?
Finger Lickin' Good!