Death jokes
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... He died of hearing aids.
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
Wanna hear some famous last words?
"We are just experiencing some turbulence."
hehehe
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he just uploaded himself to the 'net...
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
Call me an edgelord because I'm gonna impale myself on the edge of a spear.
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because you can take it so quickly.
I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.
His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."
I like my humor like my people. Well done.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?
Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Suicide.
Suicide who?
Suicide you.
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What is hard to find but easy to make?
An orphan.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To end his pain and suffering.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's already dead.