Death

Death jokes

Rip

What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?

Raped in Portugal!

Rose

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.

Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.

Memes

Son

Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.

He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"

"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.

Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"

Tour Guide

As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...

Gun

Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.

Funeral

I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."

Baby

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈

Fetus

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?

Because it wasn't born yesterday.

Shot

Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.

Orphan

"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.

Standard

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.