Death jokes

Where did Suzy go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To reunite with his parents.

The Earth was flat until they buried you.

A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!

When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.

See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.

What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?

What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?

"Him and his dead family." :(

If you give a man a match, he is warm for the night, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. :)

It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"

I would tell a Koby joke...

But it would just crash and burn.

I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.

This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.

(Do you get the joke?)

(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)

My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.

I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.

While writing my suicide note, I got a paper cut... it’s a start.

I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.

I'll turn ya nan into bonemeal.

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.

Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.

How did Michael Jackson die?

Because he danced like a zombie!

"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.

"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.

"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.