Death jokes
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their parents.
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
Memes
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
Why did Ten die?
It was between 9/11.
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
How do stars die?
Normally, an overdose.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.