Death jokes
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their parents.
Why are skeletons not funny? Because they have no humor. 🤣
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.