Death jokes
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
Why did Ten die?
It was between 9/11.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
Yo mama is so old, when I told her to act her age, she died.
If I die, does my depression die with me?
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.
What was the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?