Death jokes
Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.
What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?
I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.
What hood do zombies come from?
Dead Ends.
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."
Don't leave us hanging, Sayori.
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.