Death jokes
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
What happened after George Floyd went to the drugstore to buy Zicam Extreme Congestion Relief?
George Floyd was able to breathe again.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is not exploding.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn!
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."