Death

Death jokes

Man

You should never leave a man hanging.

Unless they are still alive.

News

"If all of these structures break we will all die."

And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

And he said, "It would be breaking news."

Boyfriend

I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.

Difference

What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!

Kobe

Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.

Hobby

What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?

Nothing because he's dead.

Blonde

There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”

The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”

The third blonde says “so we go at night.”

Clown

My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.

So all his friends came in one car.

Cat

A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”

Guess who dies next.

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