Hang in there, you all, Literally.
Death Jokes
Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.
What was Juice WRLD's favorite store?
Forever 21.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is not exploding.
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?
Nothing. They are both just memories.
