Death jokes
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
What's similar between a pregnant 14 y/o girl and the foetus inside of her?
They both are thinking "My mom's gonna kill me!"
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.
You got a black cat.
He was bad luck.
Everyone left you and you committed suicide.
What a CATastrophe!
Bully: You're gonna die.
Me: Hurry up then.
At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.
Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
What do you call a nine year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
There’s a stairway to heaven.
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
Roses are red, I wish you were dead.
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.
Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents!
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.