Death jokes
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium and you’re being a respectful friend.
But do it at home and you’re destroying evidence.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
Go commit Thanos finger snap.
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.
My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."
I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
Where did the mushroom kill himself?
In the mushroom.
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."
Why am I happy? I'm dead.
Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral? While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.