Death jokes
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?
Because he's dead.
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.
Can't believe this movie came out in 2005.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The helicopter blade!
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
Where did the orphans go when the orphanage blew up?
Everywhere.