Death jokes
How do you bury a prostitute?
In a Y-shaped coffin.
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.
Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
Man #1: Pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20.
Man #2: My son died at level 4.
Man #1: Lol, your son is a noob.
You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?
Because she’s dead.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
The Earth was flat until yo mama buried herself.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The helicopter blade!
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.