Death jokes
The Earth was flat until yo mama buried herself.
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
What makes an orphan jump?
A bridge.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?
Because he's dead.
Can't believe this movie came out in 2005.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The helicopter blade!
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.