If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
Are you with Alex?
Fucking retarded. Go dig a home die, people!
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Why is it better to date an orphan?
Their parents are never home.
What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?
Ground beef.
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
