Death jokes

My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"

I told him, "Probably a bullet."

What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?

Its ass.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?

They both collapsed.

"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"

Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?

His parents never brought back the milk.

What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.

I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.

Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.

When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.

I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.

If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.

I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.

I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.

I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.

What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.

What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.

What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?

There is no difference.

They both got split open by a huge log.

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

Are you a toaster?

Because I wanna take a bath with you.

Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?

A. Batman's parents.

What is a necrophile's least favorite game?

The Walking Dead.