If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
Death Jokes
You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.
Technoblade was the second worst thing that happened to orphans.
Guys, they weren’t always orphans!
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
My friend told me to "hang on" when I told him I wanted to kill myself.
Buddy, I’ll be hanging for sure, just you wait.
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
Coworker: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Coworker: Not your parents.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"
Oh... wait.
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.
The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
