Death jokes
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.
What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red Ferrari?
I don't have the Ferrari.
What's green and smells like ham?
Kermit the frog's fingers.
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
What's better than a pile of dead babies?
One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
I guess you can say he xxxpired.
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.
Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.
Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 9 because my basement is still dark.
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.
Wanna hear a skeleton joke?
Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.