Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
Where do you go when food dies?
A fooderal.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
What kind of punch hurts a kid the most?
A sandy hook.
Stephen Hawking died because he got unplugged from his Ethernet cord.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
Error, error, error.
System shutting down.
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Stephen Hawking died because he got hacked by me, and the update was too strong.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost internet connection.
Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies.
Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive.
Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out.
Wanna hear something that's the worst? He comes back for seconds.
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
