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Death

Death jokes

*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

Person 1: "...."

Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

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    • My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.

    So all his friends came in one car.

    The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."

    What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?

    There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.

    There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.

    When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.

    In heaven, an angel asks him why.

    “Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”

  • 0

    • At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.