Death jokes
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
What’s the difference between Jesus and the toddler in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
Orphan: I fucked your mom.
Kid: At least mine survived from it.
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
Lil’ Johnny be dead, you fools!
Why did the orphan commit suicide?
So he could find home.
"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker
What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?
My heartbeat.
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."
I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.
Who were the fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They went through 95 stories in 10 seconds.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE