Death jokes
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
Why did Sally fall dead?
Because she was on top of a tower and fell because she had no arms. Hahahahaha!
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
Little Johnny died.
What did Superman say to Batman?
Nothing, Bruce is dead.
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
What’s the difference between Jesus and the toddler in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
Orphan: I fucked your mom.
Kid: At least mine survived from it.
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
Lil’ Johnny be dead, you fools!
Why did the orphan commit suicide?
So he could find home.