Death jokes
You wanna hear a suicide joke? Nvm, it didn't make it.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
More than five because my basement is still dark.
It’s been a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus and died.
Not only this, but the council cut my bus driver's permit!
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.
I was looking forward to some toast...
So I took the toaster in the bath with me.
So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
What is yellow and can’t swim? A school, but full of drowning kids! 🤣🤣🤣
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!
Joker: Knock knock...
Batman: Who's there?
Joker: Not your parents!
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
Do you have dark humor?
Actually, never mind. I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying... but I decided to abort.
Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.
A man walked into a library. He asked the librarian, "Have you got a book on how to commit suicide?" The librarian replied, "No, you'd never bring it back!"
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone.
Why did Mr. Peanut die?
His cane snapped!
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball?
He had no-body to go with.