Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
Death Jokes
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
The baby at the bottom of the pile is still alive.
What's worse than that?
The baby at the bottom of pile is eating its way out.
I have a fish that can break dance. Only for about 20 seconds, and only once.
A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”
My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.
So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.
I just wanted to write something random.
And now my wife is dead.
The orphan: why don't my parents love me? Me: because you don't have any.
My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why... he said so I could be extinct 😭😭
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw 'em.
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?
What’s red and very rare?
A baby in a blender.
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."
When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"
The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
I'll never forget my Grandad's last words... "Son, where did you get a grenade from?!"
What instruments do skeletons like to play?
Trombones.
