Death jokes
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
What is the difference between George Floyd and Kobe?
Kobe got air.
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?
The feather.
The rope stopped the kid.
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
There's a plane crash. Every single person died.
Who lived? The married people!
Why are skeletons not funny? Because they have no humor. 🤣
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
Deku: Hey, Todoroki?
Shoto: Wht?
Deku: I just found out on the news that your dad froze to death. Do you know who did it?
Shoto: :)
What did they do with his body when he died?
They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.
My dad and I were fishing one day.
That’s where he met my stepmom.
They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter.
Apparently when the helicopter caught fire, Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire, but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it!”
The George Floyd situation was breathtaking.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: "Is that a real chainsaw?"
Why can't ghosts stay happy? Because they are too skeletal.
One time a girl was telling her boyfriend if she could have sex with him for just a little bit, and he said sure, so she just started having sex. She asked him if they could have a baby, but he said sure and started going hard. She told him she was joking, but he wouldn't get off. So she did the 69, and months later, she died, and he said he thinks he killed her with sex.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got shot. Dumb bitch!
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.