Death jokes

I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.

How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

I've been looking for my parents for years. For the life of me, I can't remember where I buried them.

My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

Harry Potter is now Harry Orphan.

An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."

How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.

Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?

I mean, the one I fucked died.

What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?

They both don't last a while.

I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!

Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!

I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

What's worse than 10 babies is one dumpster...

1 baby in 10 dumpsters.

I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭

I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?

They both hang from a tree!

You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.

What makes a child an orphan?

Their parents left them for good. :D

What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.

You call it death. I call it peace and quiet.

My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.