Death

Death jokes

Orphan

12 views ·

"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"

I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.

Crash

17 views ·

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...

Friend

12 views ·

My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.

I’ll be hanging with them for a while.

Crush

1 view ·

High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?

Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.

High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.

Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.

High school crush: Who is it?

Me: You.

Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)

Me: Fuck that.

Crash

81 views ·

How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?

Because Paul Walker crashed into it.

Suicide

14 views ·

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."