Death jokes

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.

RIP Harambe.

Are you a toaster?

'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.

Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....

I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.

What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.

Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?

They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.

Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.

You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.

Emo: Phone die.

Emo: Why not me? ;(

Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?

A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.

I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?

Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.

I didn't steal it. 🌚

Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.

So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.

Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."

How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.