Dead jokes
White Russians, do you mean red, white, blue, and dead White Russians?
Cops be like dead from COVID hahaha. Should have listened to the law, you dumb dead pigs!
A dead Russian is Trump's accountant.
I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
One night, a father heard his daughter saying good night.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good night, Mamah."
"Good bye, Papa."
The next day her papa died.
He heard her saying them a month later.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good bye, Mamah."
The next day her mamah died.
Well, her dad was scared for his life. He knew he was next. Well, his daughter said them again.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good bye, Dad."
The next day, the mail man dropped dead on their porch.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
The details are SKETCHY! :)
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
What do you call a fish without eyes?
A fsh.
Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?
Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.
I didn't steal it. 🌚