In a cruel twist of Irony Stephen Hawkins Favourite song was "I've got the power".
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common
They are both twisted.
The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies. They’re always so twisted.
There is a twist with being an orphan, every bag of chip is family sized.
a fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly a physicist saw it and said thats not how law of conservation of mass works plot twist the fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong now the physicist doesnt have mass
What do you do when life gives you lemons Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist.🙂💊💉
What do a robicks cube and a dick have in comen the more play with them the harder they get
Jesus has a twisted humor kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah i almost forgot add razors that stick out there feet
(found on web) There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.
News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestlers legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.
John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip”
The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip”.
Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”
With heavy breath, John told him “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”
“What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified”
“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls”
roses r red violets r twisted u bend over ur bout to get fisted
I’m going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I’ll draw it with a razor blade. I’ll draw it on my wrist.🔪🔪
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common? Both are sick and twisted
Which Book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible Plot Twist?
-The math Book📘🔢. Suddenly letters 🔠 appear in the calculations...
Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
What did the wire say to the electrician Stop twisting my nuts
You know you have twisted humour when you crack a smile when a minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the coloured ones
My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
Why did the orphan cross the road. Because they thought they saw there parents(plot twist the orphan got ran over)
Wanna here something twisted? A pretzel
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it Pull it Twist it Harder Better Faster Stronger You put your left hand in You put your left hand out You put your left hand in and shake it all about
None of you ever touch my penis
