Dating jokes

Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.

Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?

One day I got home and told my girlfriend, "I cheated on you." She replied with, "F**k you!" I then said, "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."

Why were the twin towers actually twins?

Their birth and death date are the same!

I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"

I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.

It showed a picture of myself.

What is the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.

I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.

This is the log reference. Use it to post your logs. Logs can be posted by Info Gatherers or Announcers.

/{[(Log date) -Month- -Year- -Day-] -Log Title- } "-Log Information- " End of Log

Thank you, -Connor

I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.

Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

Calendars got dates.

Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.

One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.

The man asked for some crack.

The woman turned around and said, "Here."

That's where the crack was, you guessed it.

The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."

Son: Dad, Dad, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!

Dad: What's wrong? Are you OK?!

Son: Mia asked me out on a date on February 30th!

Dad: 'Cause there's no February 30th?

Why can’t orphans date?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

I like my women like I like my wine. 16 years old and locked in a basement.