Dating jokes
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.
Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).
Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
A: She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.
Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.
Rizz
Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you.
Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.
I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.
Ever heard of account stealing?
Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?
Rizz.
Are you a dinosaur? Because I want to blow you up.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?
She was date raped.
My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."