Dating jokes
Rizz.
Are you a dinosaur? Because I want to blow you up.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?
She was date raped.
My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
Calendars got dates.
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.