Dating jokes

I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.

What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?

There are twenty of them.

Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."

I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.

Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?

Because they don't need permission from their parents.

Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 9.

Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."

One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?

You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.

You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.

He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.

You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.

Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.

I could never date a midget.

We would never see eye to eye.

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.

Why can't I get a girlfriend?

Because I'm a beta male simp.