Dating jokes

Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.

My boyfriend accused me of cheating. I told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.

(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

Person: What's your perfect date look like?

Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.

Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.

If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.

If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.

What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!

I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!

When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."

A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."

At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"

I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.

What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?

There are twenty of them.

Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."

I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.

Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?

Because they don't need permission from their parents.

Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 9.