New Dating Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.

Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?

Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.

Man: Shit!

What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?

"Hi, nice to meet you."

You know why they call me 007?

0 girls.

0 chances.

7 restraining orders.

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!

Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.

How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?

If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.

Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?

Because they aren't family!

Roblox Brookhaven be like:

"ABC if you wanna be adopted."

"ABC if you wanna be my friend."

"ABC if you wanna be a banker."

"ABC if you wanna rob the bank."

"ABC if you wanna date."

"ABC if you wanna sex."

What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice just right.

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.

His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"

The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."

Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."

Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.

She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"

I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”