Dating jokes
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
Wanna make out, Explain Bear?
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉
Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.