Dating jokes

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?

First date be like:

Me: "I work with animals every day."

Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"

Me: "I'm a butcher."

What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.

I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!

I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.

I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.

These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.

Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Are you a train because I want to get railed by you? ;)

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

Would you rather date me or a lady?

I laid deez nuts in your mouth.

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.

What do you call an emo dating another emo?

The suicide duo.

A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"

And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"

What color is Sonic's ball?

Blue because he keeps getting rejected.

Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

A: He wiped his ass.