Dating jokes

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.

A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"

And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

A: He wiped his ass.

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."

Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.

My boyfriend accused me of cheating. I told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!