Dating jokes
What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches.
It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
Person 1: Omg, my blind boyfriend cheated on me.
Person 2: What did you expect? Him to see other hoes...
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.
I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!
I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.
I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.
These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."
So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"
Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"
Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Are you a train because I want to get railed by you? ;)
When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.
Would you rather date me or a lady?
I laid deez nuts in your mouth.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.