Dating jokes

If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.

Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"

Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."

Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."

Guy: "About that..."

Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!

Do people even like me, C. A. S. N. O. V. A.?

Femboys are looking kinda tasty for a date, especially the dick and their balls.

This is the log reference. Use it to post your logs. Logs can be posted by Info Gatherers or Announcers.

/{[(Log date) -Month- -Year- -Day-] -Log Title- } "-Log Information- " End of Log

Thank you, -Connor

Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!

"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"

Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?

Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.

Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

My ex.

Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?

I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.

It showed a picture of myself.

"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"

Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.

Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.

Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)

Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.

Who wants to be my boyfriend, please?