Dating jokes

What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?

An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.

I will make a funny joke if you let me be your boyfriend. I'm 19 and I am Russian.

Bro, Asian girls have the weirdest names. I was, like, with one, and she kept on saying, "I'm too young."

What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?

She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.

Yo, hairline as long as George Washington's date of birth.

Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.

Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?

Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!

What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?

Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.

And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...

AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.

Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?

Bubbles:...

Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.

Alabama: 😈

Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?

And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.

Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.

what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?

sue the dating site for matching her with him.

Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.

I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.

Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.

My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.