Dating jokes

Me and a girl went on a walk...

Then she noticed me, then we went for a run. :)

Why is 4/20 such an epic date?

Because it's weed day, Columbine, AND Hitler's birthday;)

Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.

Pick up lines.

"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"

"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."

Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!

But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3

What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.

She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.

Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.

Your hairline goes back so far, it dated Zeus.

I finally got a girlfriend.

Her name is Remington Model 32.

I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.

As we speak now, someone is making arrangements for December with your girlfriend.

"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."

The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/

Where does a cow take his date?

Answer: To the moooooovies!

Why do people love dating orphans?

Because they're always home alone.

Imagine you ask a girl out in braille.

And she leaves you on felt.

I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay.

I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay now.

Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."

Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?

Because there were only 20 of them.