Date jokes
How did the Iron and Gold start dating?
They met on TINder.
I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
Would you rather date me or a lady?
I laid deez nuts in your mouth.
Why was 10 scared? Because 9/11.
What did one candle say to the other?
"Want to go out tonight?"
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...
Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.
After every line, say “I’m a man.”
I went to the club. (I’m a man)
I met a girl. (I’m a man)
I took her to the bar. (I’m a man)
We got some drinks. (I’m a man)
I took her home. (I’m a man)
We got in bed. (I’m a man)
She whispered in my ear... (I’m a man)
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.
I like my dates like I like my wine...
Locked in a cellar and aged for 12 years.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do when done with his black dates?
He dumped them.
Five more days.
Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.
Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!
But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
Do you know why 10 was scared? Because he was between 9/11.
Hey, this is to orphans:
"Orphans are ugly. We need to know each other :D We need to date, cause ur hot and so am I and orphans rly are ugly!!!!"
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!