I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!
I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣
A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.
I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
Son: Dad, Dad, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!
Dad: What's wrong? Are you OK?!
Son: Mia asked me out on a date on February 30th!
Dad: 'Cause there's no February 30th?
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
