It's funny dating someone smarter than you, my girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be, let me explain, say for example she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
your hairline goes back so far it dated zeus
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I could never date a midget.
We would never see eye to eye.
Me, (AHAHAHA IM A JOKE AHAH Criii) ANyone wanna date>lol
went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don't like going to school
Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey
Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
Today I was asked to go out, by 20 girls. -- I was in the women's bathroom.
A woman went out on a date and said “I’m thirty one with the body of a sixteen year old” the man responded “wanna show me?😏” the woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “take a look”
why do people like dating us emo girls? because of the texture on our thighs
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why do I only date orphans? Because they never have daddy issues
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat. She said nothing, so I took her to Africa
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him Sudden Lee.
I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible! I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my date 😡
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said Chinese food, so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said Indian, so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
Guy walks into a bar. Sees a hot girl. Walks up to her and says "your getting laid tonight" She replies "what are you some sort of psychic" He says "No i'm just stronger than you".
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out
