Date jokes
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do when done with his black dates?
He dumped them.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because he was in the middle of 9 and 11.
Why was 10 scared? Because of 9/11.
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
Calendars got dates.
Why is 6 scared? Because 7 8 9.
Why is 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
11/9 is opposite day. The towers fall on the planes instead of 9/11, way.
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!
I wanna date you.
Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*