Date jokes
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."
Why is 6 scared? Because 7 8 9.
Why is 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Memes
11/9 is opposite day. The towers fall on the planes instead of 9/11, way.
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."
Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
I wanna date you.
Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
Me: 911. You: You died 9/11.
Remember that 18 year old girl I set you up with?
Why not?
Too old.
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
7-Eleven
8-Eleven
9/11
My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."
9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.