Date jokes

I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.

And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...

AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.

She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.

You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.

I find this website. I see this person named Gwen. I simp for her, but just for a troll. Next thing I know, we're somehow dating? Then her ex comes in and dates her again. Apparently, he is gay, and I'm pretty sure Gwen could be a boy, but he or she has 3 friends who always back her up, just to let y'all know this isn't really supposed to be a dating app or drama app, it's a joke app, and this isn't really a joke. But one last thing, you guys are all b*tches...

So we all know why 6 was afraid of 7, because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? It was in between 9/11.

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"

Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.

Pick up lines.

"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"

"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."

Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔

I am a God. Na, na, na, na, na, na. Yeah.

She's got makeup by the mirror in her bedroom, Thigh-high fishnets and some black boots, Nose pierced with the cigarette perfume, Half dead, but she still looks so cute. She is a monster in disguise, And she knows all the words to the trap songs, Takes pic's with a cherry-red lipstick, Says she only dates guys with a big..., mmm

Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?

Because he didn't want to see the bill.

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.

A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."

I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"

Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.

Boy/girl: I love you.

Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.

The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*

Why are Black women dating white men?

So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.

I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.

Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?

The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.