Date Jokes

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aigh there maytee thy catch o the day be crabs.

What’s the difference between a loser and a paper? A girl actually dates the paper.

Why can’t orphans date

Because they have no one to call daddy

person 1- I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date. person 2- OMg

Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light put when she touched him.

went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.

She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."

"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?" "I'm a butcher," he says.

ur hairline dates so far back like when your dad left

why is 4/20 such an epic date?

because It's weed day, columbine, AND hitler's birthday ;)

9/10/01

Bush: “Ok i e got this just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan”

Why dosened the Orphin date the girl because she is a homei

Stephen hawking went on a date last night She left after 15 minutes complaining she didn't like his tone

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number. We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden

I used to date a girl named Ruth but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.

I was in a bar in Italy, me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number, I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found, I turned back then I saw Pessi running with it, shame on you Pessi for ruining my night! 😭