Date jokes
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
Calendars got dates.
So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.
Then I told him, "What are you doing?"
He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.
He then told me how easy would that be?
I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."
"Tj and Prince, I really think we should stop doing this date night, date fight thing on this website because it's driving everyone crazy, and this is a joke website, not a dating website, so I say let's just take this to Facebook."
Your hairline goes back so far, it dated Zeus.
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?
Because no one forgets it! :)
Why is 4/20 such an epic date?
Because it's weed day, Columbine, AND Hitler's birthday;)
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.
Dating a German is great because they don't play mind games; they just provide a detailed, 40-page PDF explaining exactly why you are wrong.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why did 10 have trauma?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl? You can drop her off anywhere.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
What month has 28 days?