Date Jokes

Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?

Because he was 2 squared.

I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.

A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.

The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"

Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.

A couple is on their first date.

Man: How do you feel about sex?

Woman: I like it infrequently.

Man: I see. Is that one word or two?

A promotional poster for a boxing match between Jake Paul and Joe Biden. The poster is titled “A Netflix Live Event” and has images of both men. It also shows “AT&T Stadium, Arlington, TX” as the location and “Friday November 15” as the date of the fight. The logos of “Most Valuable Promotions” and “Netflix” are also visible.

There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".

At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.