Date jokes
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."
First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."
She replies, "Really original."
Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."
She replies, "Ew, gross."
Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."
Winner dog 3.
7-Eleven
8-Eleven
9/11
Nope, should've gone to Specsavers.
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!
"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
Q: Why was 10 afraid?
A: Because he was always between 9/11.
The towers collapsed on 9/10, not 9/11.
August 3rd is the moon of earth, earth, moon, earth, universe.
USA: "Never forget 9/11."
Brits: "What happened on the 9th of November?"
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
Why was the number 10 scared? Because bro was stuck between 9/11.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!