Date jokes
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?
Q: Why was 10 afraid?
A: Because he was always between 9/11.
So we all know why 6 was afraid of 7, because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? It was in between 9/11.
They told me I'd never be good at poetry.
But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
When you're born on 4/20/69...
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
Why did 10 have trauma?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
What month has 28 days?
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
Just ask for a hotspot on September 9, 2001, you'll know.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.