Date jokes

I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.

And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...

AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"

What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.

Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?

So we all know why 6 was afraid of 7, because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? It was in between 9/11.

They told me I'd never be good at poetry.

But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!

What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?

Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.

I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.

I found a lot of matches.

Dr. Seuss dark jokes.

Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!

When you're born on 4/20/69...

You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.

What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?

"Hi, nice to meet you."

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?

Bubbles:...

Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.

Alabama: 😈

Why was 10 afraid?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

Why did 10 have trauma?

Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.

What month has 28 days?

Just ask for a hotspot on September 9, 2001, you'll know.

"I work with animals," the man said to his date.

His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"

"I am a butcher," said the man.

Chat date for Tenya and Jordan.