DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
Darkness Jokes
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.
Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?
The dark side of kid songs:
You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good, he died to a landmine.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
My uncles like the moon.
He comes out at night.
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Dark humor is like water.
Some people get it, others don't.
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."
The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.
Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't see in the dark.
A Story:
I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.
Sequel follows...
Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
