Darkness jokes

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?

His name is Vladimir Pootin.

What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.

This humor is so dark, it's darker than the Black population.

For every blonde in the world,

scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Why are we still fighting in darkness?

"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."

A man was taking a child into a dark forest.

The child said, "I'm scared!"

The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."

Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.

Son: Really?

Also 2 hours later:

Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.

Mom: Son, I-

What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?

Neither do ever grow old.

Kate: Can we have a threesome?

Trevor: Sure.

The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.

A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.

When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?

Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?

A: At least you don't die when you shower.

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"

Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"

Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?

A. "Till I Collapse."

You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!

If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.

Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.

That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.

Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?

Cause it was plain.