Dark Humor
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
What's the worst thing about 9/11?
All of the stupid "Airplane" jokes.
I think I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
What part of a vegetable can’t you eat?
The wheelchair. 😑
My girlfriend's a two, but she's turning three tomorrow.
How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
This is bullshit! Stop showing cheesy and dumb jokes! This website is for dark humor, insults, and morbid content! All of you who don’t talk about the following, go die!
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?
Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.
Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.