Dark Humor
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
When a clock goes forward, it goes "tic-tac," but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic.
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
The "W" in Africa stands for water.
Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? A. Depends how thin you slice them.
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
Dick.
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
What’s the difference between a kid with cancer and a dark humor joke?
They never get old.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."