Dark Humor
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
What is black and blue and really hates sex?
The six-year-old in my basement.
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
I had to stop drinking because I got tired of waking up in my car, driving 90.
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
Bros over hos.
What did the mom say to the twins?
"Go crash a plane!"
If the US ate chicken, it would die.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
Rope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?
Me: Maybe I can hang later...
Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What is the difference between a feminist and a knife?
A knife at least has a point.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.