Dark Humor
I hate double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
What's common between a feminist and a knife?
They both stay in the kitchen.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
What's it called when a Black person makes a joke? A joke, you racist.
JK, dark humor.
What do you call an emo dating another emo?
The suicide duo.
When you're balls are blue, but you Klux Klan's Ku...
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: .....it...
Friend: No
Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!
Friend: Why are you like this?
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
What is black and blue and really hates sex?
The six-year-old in my basement.
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
I had to stop drinking because I got tired of waking up in my car, driving 90.
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What did the mom say to the twins?
"Go crash a plane!"
If the US ate chicken, it would die.
Bros over hos.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!