Dark Humor

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.

What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"

How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.

Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?

Because they're always cutting.

What’s worse than nailing 10 babies to 1 tree?

Nailing 1 baby to 10 trees.

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.

If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.

If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.

I know you don’t like rape jokes, but I’m gonna force one on you anyway.

A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.

One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso espresso.

Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

Me: You have terrible jokes.

Mum: Shows me a mirror.

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!

Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.

I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.

I teach orphans.

But the problem is I can't give them homework.

I can tell a joke :)

Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.

What's the best part about having emo grass?

It cuts itself!

Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.