My girlfriend's a two, but she's turning three tomorrow.
Dark Humor
How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
This is bullshit! Stop showing cheesy and dumb jokes! This website is for dark humor, insults, and morbid content! All of you who don’t talk about the following, go die!
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?
Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.
Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.
Q: Why did the Mexican start taking anti-anxiety pills?
A: Because he was taking them for His-panic attacks.
Your hairline is so far, too far, even dark humored jokes are scared of it.
👌neck
Penis.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
Idk, I never met one before.
Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."
Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.
More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?
An orphan.
Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?
Because they can’t find one.
lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!
