Dark Humor
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.
Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.
I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.
Memes
Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."
What part of a vegetable can’t you eat?
The wheelchair. 😑
My girlfriend's a two, but she's turning three tomorrow.
How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?
Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.
Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly.