Dark Humor

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."

Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.

Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.

I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.

Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.

Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.

Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."

What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?

The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.

Onions was a good dog.

What were the balloon's last words to his Father?

"Watch me, Pop!"

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.

If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.

The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.

That’s like 20 years from now, I said.

He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.

What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?

I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.

What part of a vegetable can’t you eat?

The wheelchair. 😑

My girlfriend's a two, but she's turning three tomorrow.