Dark Humor
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What is the difference between a feminist and a knife?
A knife at least has a point.
Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
What did Michael say to the boy in his room at sleepovers?
"You are not alone."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't toot when you put meat in it.
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
What's the worst thing about 9/11?
All of the stupid "Airplane" jokes.
I think I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
"Say what you want about the deaf."
I've had conversations with many people. Some of them were drier than my dad's ashes.
Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.