Dark Humor
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
Thatâs like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. Itâs 2:30.
Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people donât.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
Memes
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, donât do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.
I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.
I've had conversations with many people. Some of them were drier than my dad's ashes.
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
"Say what you want about the deaf."
I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.
Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.
Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."
What did the mom say to the twins?
"Go crash a plane!"