Dark Humor
Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
Rope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?
Me: Maybe I can hang later...
Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What is the difference between a feminist and a knife?
A knife at least has a point.
Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.
What did Michael say to the boy in his room at sleepovers?
"You are not alone."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't toot when you put meat in it.
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
I've had conversations with many people. Some of them were drier than my dad's ashes.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
"Say what you want about the deaf."
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
What's the worst thing about 9/11?
All of the stupid "Airplane" jokes.
I think I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.