Dark Humor
Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
Memes
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
What did the mom say to the twins?
"Go crash a plane!"
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.