Dark Humor
How do you get an emo down from a tree?
Cut the rope!
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me while he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
Too many people.
Not enough VooDoo dolls.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.
A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park.
"Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate!"
The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.