Dark Humor
So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
What do you call an emo with a knife?
A cutting board.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
Q: Why are medication pills white?
A: Because they work.
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
This joke is so dark, I need life.
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
One actually finished a race.
Bros over hos.
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
What is the difference between a feminist and a knife?
A knife at least has a point.
Why can't an orphan ever play baseball?
Because they never found home.
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?
Hitler knows when to kill himself!