Dark Humor
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
My humour is so dark that its life matters.
Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.
Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
What’s the difference between kids and drugs?
I don’t hide drugs in my basement.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.
Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.
What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
Everywhere.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.