Dark Humor

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!

What’s the difference between kids and drugs?

I don’t hide drugs in my basement.

I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.

How do terrorists feed their children?

Here comes the airplane.

My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."

I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."

My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."

Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.

You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.

A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”

The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”

my therapist told me that time heals wounds i stabbed him now we wait

Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.

Steven Hawking had dark humor.

Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.

All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.

Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)

Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.

What's the difference between me and a rope?

A rope will hang with you.

I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"

What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.