Dark Humor
Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
Memes
Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
I got a detention because I told an emo kid to "hang in there."
Elmo, stop penetrating the orphan!
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
my therapist told me that time heals wounds i stabbed him now we wait
Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)