Dark Humor

Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.

Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.

Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.

I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.

How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.

What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.

See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.

How do you make a dead baby float?

1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.

If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.

What's the best part about having emo grass?

It cuts itself!

My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.

I got a detention because I told an emo kid to "hang in there."

Elmo, stop penetrating the orphan!

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!

What’s the difference between kids and drugs?

I don’t hide drugs in my basement.

I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.

How do terrorists feed their children?

Here comes the airplane.

My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."

I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."

My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."

Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.