Dark Humor

Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.

How do you make a dead baby float?

1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.

If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.

What's the best part about having emo grass?

It cuts itself!

Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.

I got a detention because I told an emo kid to "hang in there."

Elmo, stop penetrating the orphan!

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!

My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."

Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)

All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.

My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."

I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."

Steven Hawking had dark humor.

Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.

A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”

The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”

Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.

You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.

my therapist told me that time heals wounds i stabbed him now we wait

I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."

My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."

What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.